Staying in awe

Age changes things.

This summer, my college campus is being rented out for various camps and things. One day in the student union ladies’ room, I noticed three little girls sticking out their blue lollipop-coated tongues at the mirror while I was putting on some lipstick. I was making sure I looked my best before going to work, while the children were arguing over who had the bluest tongue (it was a serious matter, after all!).

It hit me then that age really does make all the difference in how a person views the world around them. Still, I had to wonder when exactly I lost my own sense of wonder. Me marveling at the color of my tongue in the mirror today would raise a few eyebrows because of my age. But, then again, when was the last time I let myself show such fascination with a new thing or experience?

I love the age I am right now. I wouldn’t trade my years of experience for anything.
Still, I hope I don’t forget to stop and smell the roses, look at the stars, or do whatever it is I need to do to keep myself from turning into a boring cynic who is never impressed by anything. I challenge you to not forget to do those things either. Carpe diem and all that jazz.

I think keeping a sense of wonder about you will help make life more satisfying in the long run. I know that, in order for me to live a fulfilled life, I'm going to need to stay in awe of the world God has placed me in and what He has given me.

So, do stick out that tongue of yours and marvel.

The "My life is crazy busy" post

Almost a year has happened since my last honest-to-goodness post.
(No, the last one wasn't quite goodness. Thanks for asking.)

How does one sum up a year's worth of happenings? I certainly don't know how.
Let us begin trying, OK?
OK.

I am now 20 years old and a junior in college. I am still your typical college student; I only have a vague idea of what I want to do after graduation. But I am really excited about my vague ideas...

I am blessed with great family and friends, and I'm grateful for them.

I'm still living, going to school and working in my hometown, and, while I'm waiting for a chance to see more of the world, I'm trying to learn how to "bloom where I'm planted." Or, rather, I'm trying to thrive. That has been my latest prayer to God--that I not take anything for granted.

My life is crazy busy--even during the less-busy summer.
But I wouldn't have it any other way.
I'm just thankful.

Learn. It's good for you.

I just realized something. I love learning.
(OK, it's not so much a realization. It's just that it's at the forefront of my thoughts today.)

That is why my current semester of college is so exciting.

(Yeah, yeah... What a cheesy thing to say... Just stick with me.)

Because I'm a sophomore now, and I am finally getting to take classes in my major, classes that are going to be very practical. Not only that, I've actually been blessed enough to have also gained some experience that will really help me in the future. After all, it's helping me now.

I’m no longer thinking, when am I actually going to use this stuff in real life? I know I actually will, and that makes me happy. I’m actually doing something useful. I hate feeling like I’m wasting my time on stuff that doesn’t matter.

The only downside?

There’s still lots of homework involved.
I'm positively buried.

That’s life though; nobody ever said it’d be perfect. You can't learn anything (or gain any experience) by doing nothing.

And that’s OK either way. Perfection is an impossible goal.

This may shock you, but even I haven’t reached that yet!

My issues with [newspaper] issues

I'm planning to go into journalism.
I'm also beginning to learn that the "planning" part
can't stick around too long.
After all, action has to happen at some point!

In my spare time (which is very rare), I have been researching internships.
I do sometimes feel like I'm getting ahead of myself.
I'm only a college sophomore!
Still, I won't reprimand myself too harshly for my high hopes.
I'm glad I've found something I'm that excited about.
There are too many possibilities!

Yesterday, I was in the Carolinas,
visiting some of my family for Easter weekend.
We ate at a restaurant in North Carolina,
and I saw a local newspaper for sale outside.
I froze.
This paper was one of my internship possibilities.
On the way out, I bought one to read on the way back to my hometown.

Back in town late last night, we stopped at a convenience store for my family's Sunday tradition of buying papers
(a combination of our appreciation for them and my mom's recent interest in the "art" of coupon clipping).
With two more papers in hand, the same thought that made me freeze earlier in the day caught my attention again.

I pulled all three of the papers into my lap and looked at them, coming to the realization that I could, in time, be writing for any one of them.
What a profound realization that was.

I often have friends ask me where I want to go
with "this whole journalism thing."
Do I have a dream paper, one I've always dreamed of writing for?
I don't think so.
I'm just praying for open doors.

However, advice a friend gave me last week is
still running through my head.
Basically, it was that I shouldn't be afraid to "go big" with my career.
"Big" referring to both my future achievements and my "ability" to write for some specific large, well-known newspapers.

It's sometimes scary having people believe in you.

I'm pondering if I would be willing to "go big"
if those doors were opened to me.
I suppose I just need to be smart enough to not let myself be afraid of opportunity.
God, give me wisdom...

Breaking Spring and limits

I just settled into my dorm room after a restful week--my university's spring break.

How was it?

Truth be told, it was quite boring.

I stayed in town for the week. Since I made the decision to go to college in my hometown, going home for spring break means a mere ten-minute car ride.

I rested. I read books. I watched television. I cooked. I did laundry. I wrote. I got caught up on my homework (for the most part). I went shopping. I spent time with my family.

The last thing was the most important thing I did.
It would surprise you to know how little time I spend with my family, despite the proximity.
I'm so busy through the average week that the time just flies by.
Thankfully, we're still close-knit.

Oh, but it was such a restful week!
It was like a vacation for my mind.
It gave me a lot of time to think.
Maybe too much.

I originally had grand notions of sandy beaches and cool mountains in my mind for spring break.
Hearing other people's plans, I was feeling a bit left out.
I wanted to travel and explore elsewhere too, but I didn't have plans.
I told myself that I was staying limited because I wanted some time to relax.
As it turns out, I might not know how to relax.

Oy vey. This town, though I love it, drives me crazy.
Sometimes I think I have too much of a sense of adventure.
While I know that isn't the least bit true,
I wish I wouldn't find myself thinking so wistfully all the time.
It's unsatisfying.

It is as if Columbus would have stayed in Italy.
There wouldn't have been history made there; Italy had already been explored.

Often, I remind myself that I'm not tied to this town.
Though I have good friends here that I've known for years and years,
not even my family is from around here.
The possibility that I'll leave this town is almost a definite one.
I'll shove off with a smile, a wave, a bittersweet goodbye, and a tear in my eye.
My day will come.

I feel like what God's calling me to do requires me to broaden my horizons--
not limit them by silly geography.
I've had my whole life so far
to take the "safe" route and to plan for the "safe" career in the "safe" location.
I'm readying myself to take some risks now.

So, now, as I will be in the future, I am praying.
I pray that God will, in the most literal sense, show me where to go.
'Cause I feel like I'm going somewhere.

Springtime: just about here

The weather reached an unusually high 80 degrees today.
Though it's only the early part of March, I think it's safe to say that spring is here.

I love this season.
Sure, the weather is wonderful.
I love the flowers and the breeze...
But there's more to my love than that.
Spring lets us see life's seasons in a new way.

All nature takes the opportunity to break free from the confines of winter cold.
It's a time for new life as birds chirp while they freely fly and flower petals unfurl despite the previously unforgiving ground.
There is new birth.
Everything is given a new start.

There are times that I need a new start myself.
My hopes sometimes get shattered;
I have to pick up the pieces.
I'm so thankful that God lets nature serve as a reminder that I too can have a new beginning.

Today, with the sun shining on my face, I was glad.
The whole irrepressible joy thing is certainly coming into play.

What's "love" again?

Though I’m single, I have a Valentine’s Day tradition that I’ve kept for a few years now.

When I woke up this morning, I remembered the date on the calendar, and I lay in bed a few extra minutes to organize my thoughts.

It’s reflection. And on Valentine’s Day, love is the focus.

When I think of love, I don’t necessarily associate it with being in a relationship. There could be a day in the future when I thank God for a man in my life. Even so, I hope I will continue to focus on the way I think of love now.

Love isn’t exclusive. It isn’t just for those who are walking down the boulevards hand-in-hand with their significant others. Love is for everyone who is willing to accept it and give it away.

When I see those people walking hand-in-hand, I hope for their sakes that it’s love—not the “He’s hot, she’s hot” kind of "love", but the kind that actually makes a difference.

I draw my definition of love from the Bible. Though verses like 1 Corinthians 13 are quoted all the time, they offer the best definitions I’ve found.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

To me, love isn’t really love unless it’s striving to measure up to that. I keep saying the phrase “I love you” to a minimum because love means so much to me. I don’t take it lightly.

I realize that, though I’m single, there’s plenty I can do to show love to people. I just need to remember to be patient, kind, non-envious, non-boastful...

Despite the barrage of candy hearts, red roses and P.D.A. our society presents us with on Feb. 14, I pray I remember what love really is.

Then, I pray I can act on that love.
Love is an action after all.