Summer goals

I've never been one for New Year's resolutions.

Why do I need to wait until a new year comes along to resolve to do something?

This summer, even though I have a job, I still have a lot of free time on my hands. I've decided that I need to start doing something productive in my free time.

The result of this decision?
A list of summer goals.

These are all things I've been meaning to do.
A lot of it is making up for lost time.
(I love time. It's better to have loved and lost than... never mind.)

Hopefully, I'll have come closer to learning most (if not all) of these things before summer comes to an end. I'll keep updating you on my progress!

The List:

- Learn to speak Spanish fluently
While I have taken 6 semesters of Spanish (1 at a high school level and 5 at my university), I'm still not fluent in Spanish. My goal is to get closer to that mark.

- Learn to play a guitar
I've never been musically inclined other than the fact that I can sing a little. I have the instrument. I just need to get over how much it hurts my fingers to play (no callouses yet, obviously) and start making music.

- Learn to be a better actress
I love theatre. I watch plays as often as I can, and I really want to act. I've tried out for numerous plays at my university, but I've never gotten a callback. Either I'm a terrible actress, or I simply lack the experience they wanted. Either way, I'm going to see what I can do to improve.

- Learn to be a better writer
Writing is something I really love doing. That being said, there's always room for improvement. I want to try new styles of writing. I've even considered looking into doing some freelance work (just a thought, not so much a goal).

- Learn to be a better cook
I've been cracking open the recipe books lately... Again, always room for improvement!

My goal with this list of goals is to improve myself.
After I finish this list, there will probably be more like it.
In fact, it's likely that I'll have even more to add to this list tomorrow.
Life's a journey, and my journey will include learning all I can. ;-)

Sailing away on the Box Sea

Sadly, inevitably, gratefully...
My first year of college has come to an end.

Right now, sitting in my dorm room with a sea of cardboard boxes waiting impatiently to be filled so I can move out of the dorm, I'm thinking over my year.

It was amazing.
I learned a lot (oh, surprise, surprise), had some great (and many not-so-great) experiences, made some good friends and started on my way to becoming who it is I want to become (more on that later).

It was a year filled with so many possibilities; most everything was new to me.
Despite the fact that I came to college last fall with nearly enough credits to be a sophomore, I was still having my first year.
It was challenging, but it was wonderful and worth it.

I feel like I could go into detail after detail about my first year of college, but I'll save those posts for another day.

In a way, I'm grateful that the year is over. No more classes until fall!
On the other hand, I'm sad and wishing that good things didn't always have to come to ends.
I know I'll never have another year like this again.
My next year of college won't be defined by all the firsts I've had; it will be building on these first foundations I've made.

I have my memories, and all I can do is reflect.
Don't worry... It's a joyful sort of reflection.
Excuse me now.
I need to get back to sailing the Box Sea.

שואה - Let's not forget.

Take a look at my heart today.
I was just thinking of the Holocaust, and it has me feeling heavy-hearted.
I don't know what made me think of it today, but I thought I'd share with you.

The thing about the way I write is that I feel responsible.
I feel as if there always has to be a reason for what I write.
God has given me the ability to be able to, at times, express my thoughts well through my writing.
I don't want to be thoughtless about it.
So when an issue like this catches my attention...

The Holocaust has always been something that has tugged at my heart.
It's not so much tugged at my heart though...
It's made my heart sick.

I'm blessed.
I am a Christian, and I've always been grateful to live in a time and place where I don't have to be in fear of my life because of my faith.
Maybe that's why the Holocaust's atrocities make my stomach turn so much.
I'm used to freedom.

The Holocaust was inherently wrong.
I don't care what your religious affiliation is; nobody deserves to be treated like its victims were.
I know it went against everything I believe.

I encourage you to research the Holocaust to find out everything that happened with it.
Yes, a lot of what you will find about it is hard to read.
I hope it is hard for you!
The memories of it should still be shocking.

I think it's important for the world to look back at people's past cruel mistakes and remember them so, God willing, nothing like that will ever happen again.
It shocks me to hear of people denying that the Holocaust ever happened.

This occurred years and years before I was even born, but the lessons we can learn from it are still terribly relevant today.
So, please, let's not forget this.

Happy Tax Day!

Isn't it a lovely day?

Today is the deadline for the people of the United States of America to hand over part of their income to the government.

I'm sure it's joy.

I did my taxes two days ago, and I surprised myself by doing them so early.
I had pictured myself waiting 'til today to do them.
It would've been me having to deal with my signature tendency to procrastinate (which, fortunately, is becoming less and less of one).

This was my first time having to do taxes.
2008 marked the first year I was over 18 and with a job.
I filed online, and it was relatively painless.

I won't be getting much of a refund.
My check will be filled out to the amount of $20.

At least I'm not having to pay this time around...

Learn. It's good for you.

I just realized something. I love learning.
(OK, it's not so much a realization. It's just that it's at the forefront of my thoughts today.)

That is why my current semester of college is so exciting.

(Yeah, yeah... What a cheesy thing to say... Just stick with me.)

Because I'm a sophomore now, and I am finally getting to take classes in my major, classes that are going to be very practical. Not only that, I've actually been blessed enough to have also gained some experience that will really help me in the future. After all, it's helping me now.

I’m no longer thinking, when am I actually going to use this stuff in real life? I know I actually will, and that makes me happy. I’m actually doing something useful. I hate feeling like I’m wasting my time on stuff that doesn’t matter.

The only downside?

There’s still lots of homework involved.
I'm positively buried.

That’s life though; nobody ever said it’d be perfect. You can't learn anything (or gain any experience) by doing nothing.

And that’s OK either way. Perfection is an impossible goal.

This may shock you, but even I haven’t reached that yet!

My issues with [newspaper] issues

I'm planning to go into journalism.
I'm also beginning to learn that the "planning" part
can't stick around too long.
After all, action has to happen at some point!

In my spare time (which is very rare), I have been researching internships.
I do sometimes feel like I'm getting ahead of myself.
I'm only a college sophomore!
Still, I won't reprimand myself too harshly for my high hopes.
I'm glad I've found something I'm that excited about.
There are too many possibilities!

Yesterday, I was in the Carolinas,
visiting some of my family for Easter weekend.
We ate at a restaurant in North Carolina,
and I saw a local newspaper for sale outside.
I froze.
This paper was one of my internship possibilities.
On the way out, I bought one to read on the way back to my hometown.

Back in town late last night, we stopped at a convenience store for my family's Sunday tradition of buying papers
(a combination of our appreciation for them and my mom's recent interest in the "art" of coupon clipping).
With two more papers in hand, the same thought that made me freeze earlier in the day caught my attention again.

I pulled all three of the papers into my lap and looked at them, coming to the realization that I could, in time, be writing for any one of them.
What a profound realization that was.

I often have friends ask me where I want to go
with "this whole journalism thing."
Do I have a dream paper, one I've always dreamed of writing for?
I don't think so.
I'm just praying for open doors.

However, advice a friend gave me last week is
still running through my head.
Basically, it was that I shouldn't be afraid to "go big" with my career.
"Big" referring to both my future achievements and my "ability" to write for some specific large, well-known newspapers.

It's sometimes scary having people believe in you.

I'm pondering if I would be willing to "go big"
if those doors were opened to me.
I suppose I just need to be smart enough to not let myself be afraid of opportunity.
God, give me wisdom...

¿Que pasa?

I am learning to speak Spanish.

I've been, um, pretty successful with it so far!

I've taken a year of Spanish at the high school level and five semesters at the university level.

I am, by no means, fluent, but I'm happy with the fact that I can now hold a short conversation with someone (albeit, with a very limited vocabulary).

That being said, I wanted to share a thought with those of you who are also learning the language.

Memorization is key.

While some people stress over how hard learning Spanish is, it is important to remember that memorizing things is how you learn.

Memorizing the verb tenses and vocabulary will help you immensely. Take the time to memorize all you can.

Unfortunately, you will need to remind yourself of what you've learned later on. It's possible to forget. If it's any comfort, that's the way it is with most people's native languages. I know I proofread even when I write in English!

Here's something to help you memorize your verb tenses:

HANDOUT-VERB TENSES.doc
(Click the link to go where I've uploaded it so you can download it.)

This handout was given to me by one of my Spanish professors to help us study. :-)

Breaking Spring and limits

I just settled into my dorm room after a restful week--my university's spring break.

How was it?

Truth be told, it was quite boring.

I stayed in town for the week. Since I made the decision to go to college in my hometown, going home for spring break means a mere ten-minute car ride.

I rested. I read books. I watched television. I cooked. I did laundry. I wrote. I got caught up on my homework (for the most part). I went shopping. I spent time with my family.

The last thing was the most important thing I did.
It would surprise you to know how little time I spend with my family, despite the proximity.
I'm so busy through the average week that the time just flies by.
Thankfully, we're still close-knit.

Oh, but it was such a restful week!
It was like a vacation for my mind.
It gave me a lot of time to think.
Maybe too much.

I originally had grand notions of sandy beaches and cool mountains in my mind for spring break.
Hearing other people's plans, I was feeling a bit left out.
I wanted to travel and explore elsewhere too, but I didn't have plans.
I told myself that I was staying limited because I wanted some time to relax.
As it turns out, I might not know how to relax.

Oy vey. This town, though I love it, drives me crazy.
Sometimes I think I have too much of a sense of adventure.
While I know that isn't the least bit true,
I wish I wouldn't find myself thinking so wistfully all the time.
It's unsatisfying.

It is as if Columbus would have stayed in Italy.
There wouldn't have been history made there; Italy had already been explored.

Often, I remind myself that I'm not tied to this town.
Though I have good friends here that I've known for years and years,
not even my family is from around here.
The possibility that I'll leave this town is almost a definite one.
I'll shove off with a smile, a wave, a bittersweet goodbye, and a tear in my eye.
My day will come.

I feel like what God's calling me to do requires me to broaden my horizons--
not limit them by silly geography.
I've had my whole life so far
to take the "safe" route and to plan for the "safe" career in the "safe" location.
I'm readying myself to take some risks now.

So, now, as I will be in the future, I am praying.
I pray that God will, in the most literal sense, show me where to go.
'Cause I feel like I'm going somewhere.

Springtime: just about here

The weather reached an unusually high 80 degrees today.
Though it's only the early part of March, I think it's safe to say that spring is here.

I love this season.
Sure, the weather is wonderful.
I love the flowers and the breeze...
But there's more to my love than that.
Spring lets us see life's seasons in a new way.

All nature takes the opportunity to break free from the confines of winter cold.
It's a time for new life as birds chirp while they freely fly and flower petals unfurl despite the previously unforgiving ground.
There is new birth.
Everything is given a new start.

There are times that I need a new start myself.
My hopes sometimes get shattered;
I have to pick up the pieces.
I'm so thankful that God lets nature serve as a reminder that I too can have a new beginning.

Today, with the sun shining on my face, I was glad.
The whole irrepressible joy thing is certainly coming into play.

Boys and Girls

When I was sitting at lunch with some friends yesterday, one of them brought up something that I found pretty amusing.

She said she found it funny that, though we are in college, most of us had been referring to our peers as boys and girls instead of as men and women.

I dawned on me that I had, in fact, been doing that.
It's habit!
When you've been calling someone something for years and years, change can be hard to come by.

Plus, though I'm an adult, but there are times that I don't feel like it.
I guess I must unconsciously assume that everyone feels the same way I do.

What's a girl to do?

I suppose that I'll have to bite my tongue and refer to people as adults, even though many of us students are still getting there.

Knowing when to bite one's tongue is a sign of adulthood I suppose.

On the contra-ary!

This semester, I have discovered a new pastime.

Dancing. Contra dancing, to be exact. :-)


I am terrible at it, but I really don't give a care. It's fun.

Contra dancing is like a cross between square dancing and English country dancing (or something like that), complete with cheesy music and someone telling you what to do the whole time.

Now, doesn't that just sound wonderful?
I was very skeptical that I would like it at first, but I suppose even skeptics like me can be proven wrong once.

I think the being terrible part comes from having a dance partner.
I'm used to dancing by myself.
At least I can blame my partner if I don't do well!

It's kind of confusing at first. There are almost too many steps to follow.

Nevertheless, I like it.
One does get the hang of it.

I've been twice with a group of friends, and I wouldn't be opposed to going again.
It kind of makes me want to try other types of dance too!

Here's some of what the dancing looks like:

What's "love" again?

Though I’m single, I have a Valentine’s Day tradition that I’ve kept for a few years now.

When I woke up this morning, I remembered the date on the calendar, and I lay in bed a few extra minutes to organize my thoughts.

It’s reflection. And on Valentine’s Day, love is the focus.

When I think of love, I don’t necessarily associate it with being in a relationship. There could be a day in the future when I thank God for a man in my life. Even so, I hope I will continue to focus on the way I think of love now.

Love isn’t exclusive. It isn’t just for those who are walking down the boulevards hand-in-hand with their significant others. Love is for everyone who is willing to accept it and give it away.

When I see those people walking hand-in-hand, I hope for their sakes that it’s love—not the “He’s hot, she’s hot” kind of "love", but the kind that actually makes a difference.

I draw my definition of love from the Bible. Though verses like 1 Corinthians 13 are quoted all the time, they offer the best definitions I’ve found.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

To me, love isn’t really love unless it’s striving to measure up to that. I keep saying the phrase “I love you” to a minimum because love means so much to me. I don’t take it lightly.

I realize that, though I’m single, there’s plenty I can do to show love to people. I just need to remember to be patient, kind, non-envious, non-boastful...

Despite the barrage of candy hearts, red roses and P.D.A. our society presents us with on Feb. 14, I pray I remember what love really is.

Then, I pray I can act on that love.
Love is an action after all.

On time as of late

Time management is a struggle with time.
If that's the case, my life is dictated by struggle.

Lately, I've been running myself ragged trying to keep up with a busy schedule.

But why?

I was talking with some girls who live on my hall during Small Group, a time each week when we study the Bible and talk.
Someone brought up the point that we need to pause and make time for things like spending time with God.

Now that's poignant.
Am I giving God my struggle?

I try so hard to be many things to many different people.
I love to get involved with everything.
And--believe me--I'm trying my best right now to keep track of each day.

However, I still find that, when I do too much, everything suffers.
That's not how I want it to be.
My philosophy is that my investment in whatever I do needs to be all or nothing.

The solution?
I don't have one yet.
I'm just hoping and praying for the best.

Technologically challenged?

I love technology.
It does not share the same affection for me.

It's obvious that we're living in a time when we are barraged with new tech things every day.

A new version of Windows! A new iPod! A new device to do all your homework for you!
(OK, OK. That last one doesn't exist yet. Don't sue a girl for dreaming.)

The attack of all things new and tech-y is quite annoying.

How can I ever have the time to learn everything?
By the time I get something mastered, something new comes along.
For example, I had a digital camera, and it was threatening to die on me.
I now have a nice, new camera that has me studying the user manual like it's my job or something.
Exhausting.

I have it better than some though.
I look at my grandparents trying to master their computers and cell phones and think myself fortunate for having grown up with such things.
Technology is so ingrained with everyday life.

Still, I sometimes wish I could do everything the old-fashioned way.
Is the paper-and-pencil way of doing things really so bad?

Then again, if I go into journalism, hand-writing the newspaper might make my hand cramp up after a while.

The irony is that, while I am sitting here lamenting my dependence on technology, I am using a computer. Like I said, I do like that we have what we have.

I just crave simplicity is all.

"Think strong thoughts, think strong thoughts..."

That may as well be a mantra that stirs wildly in my head as I go through each day.

I was just thinking about the title of this blog.
I meant it as a play on words (which, admittedly, may only make sense if you know me personally).
Then, I began to think about what it actually means to think "strong thoughts".

Whether or not I always focus consciously on being strong, I certainly feel the need to be that way.

And I'm not talking about physical strength here; I haven't been body building!
I'm talking about reassuring myself.

Do you ever feel the need to remind yourself that everything's going to be OK?
That's what I believe it means to think strong thoughts.
It's thinking positively!

There have been so many instances in my life when I have needed strength.
There's no way I would have made it through things like my grandfather's death or my first semester of college without God's help.

I guess the point of it all is knowing when you're not at your strongest and asking for help.
I try to think strong thoughts and allow God to be that strength.

Isn't that all I ever need to do?

Looking back and looking forward

Time is a tricky thing.
It always gets away from me.
Despite that, I always look forward to new things.
It's important for me to try to make the most of the time I have.
This new year has so many possibilities.
As I look forward, I also want to take the opportunity to look back.

Last year was amazing.
Many people would use the term 'amazing' to describe the past year, but, in my life,
there were many profound experiences that could not be described any other way.

If I had to think of just one word to sum up all of my experiences, that word would
be "firsts".

There were so many firsts.

To name a few things, 2008 saw me:

• Graduating from high school

12 years was a long time!

• Having a semi-definite idea of what I want to do for a living for the first time.

I want to do something with journalism, and, once I get my mind set on something
it's hard to tear my thoughts away from it.

• Moving away from home for the first time.

I had never lived away from my family. Yet, I was surprised to find that some of the people I would meet at college would come pretty close to being family.

• Learning to be more independent that I ever have.

I do my own laundry now, among many other things. :-)

• Settling into a new lifestyle of responsibility.

I find that people depend on me now more than ever before. Whether it be in school,
work, or clubs on campus, I stay busy! It is stressful sometimes, but another
'first' has been learning to manage everything.

The most amazing thing in the midst of everything that happened was that God was with me each day of the year.
There were days that I sat in my dorm room crying to God because I had no idea what I was doing.
There were also days that I thanked God
for every new thing I experienced and every new person I met.
He has been the only constant in life when everything around me has been changing.
Every day.
I am so amazingly blessed.

Last year was truly amazing!
Here's to another amazing year...

Bringin' procrastination at its best!

Unintentionally, I have confirmed the annoying stereotype of a typical college student.

I am a procrastinator.

When I started this blog, I did vow to write often.

I suppose it wasn't wise to make that promise.
With my packed-out schedule this past semester, this blog took a backseat to everything else.
And my schedule was packed.
In addition to a full-time class schedule, I worked two jobs, became involved with extracurricular activities, and (miraculously) maintained a social life.

Whew!

My infrequent writing does not mean that I'm as flaky as the leaves I crunch underfoot in the fall.
I'm just a busy woman who is still learning to manage time. :)


There are always New Years' resolutions for this sort of thing, right?